Having a mixed feelings today. Got a news this morning. From ene. His work permit for Hong Kong has been approved finally. Lepas letak phone dengan Hasnaa tadi, he called me straight away. Happy? Or sad? I don't know. Part of me is happy for him. Of course I am. Peluang kerja macam ni tak selalu datang. I really want him to go. Not just for the money, but also for experience gains. Tu lagi penting. Sebab he won't be working there for the rest of his life kan? Sooner or later he'll be coming home jugak. And he'll need those experiences to find a better job. And I bet he will.
But another part of me pulak, I really don't want him to go. Jauh kot. Yes, I get cheap flights whenever I feel like flying out to him. But still. It's so far away. How's our wedding preps gonna be? Susah laa nak update apa-apa kat dia nanti. Nak call mahal. Macam skang ni, I'll straight away call/sms him if whatever crossed my mind. Sebab nanti takut lupa. Wedding thingy ni memang banyak benda nak kena pikir. Kalau dah jauh nanti, cane? :( Now, I'm thinking to get a smartphone for myself. Seriously.
He's going to tender his resignation anytime from now. Tender would be two months. Pastu he's going to Singapore for training. Also for two months. And after that baru dia terus pergi Hong Kong. Dalam perkiraan aku, he'll be going to Singapore after raya laa kot. Alhamdulillah. Dapat laa dia puasa and raya kat sini. And he'll be going to Hong Kong around November. Hmm.. dah dekat sangat dengan our wedding date. Would they release him nanti? Kang tak pasal-pasal pengantin lelaki tak sampai-sampai, aku dok atas pelamin sorang-sorang. Isk.. nauzubillah, mintak simpang jauh-jauh.
Ni belum kawen, dah rasa jauh. Kalau dah kawen nanti macam mana pulak? Long-distance marriage is so not my cuppa tea. Tengok Abang dengan Effa jauh pun dah rasa tak berkenan di hati. What if I got pregnant? And have a baby? Okay, dah jauh sangat tu pikir, tapi memang still kena pikir kan?
Haih.. Sangat-sangat mixed feelings. I'm still contemplating of going with him to Hong Kong after married. But, I really love my job! Kalau pergi sana, dok kat sana, nak balik Mesia tengok mama and abah, dah takleh dapat flight tickets murah dah. And kalau aku pergi sana, boleh ke dapat keja? I don't want to be a stay at home mom. And kalau dapat kerja, baby siapa nak jaga? Of course laa takde nursery Islam kat sana kan. Apa pulak diorang bagi makan nanti. Nauzubillah.
Tapi kalau dok sini, jauh dengan ene pulak. Cane? Tak tau nak buat apa skang ni.